By: Humayun Mujahid

Ever thought what reality is in its core nature? What you stressfully call reality might be your own reality. To me, there are two things your reality gets triggered from: your beliefs and your actions. So if you aspire to revolutionize your life, review your beliefs, amend them sincerely. Your actions will arbitrarily follow them. Beliefs are actually the origin of your thoughts.

What we normally know is everything is fundamentally initiated from thoughts, but thoughts in actual fact, come from beliefs.  Hence, your beliefs form your reality, your own individual beliefs together with accumulative beliefs from surroundings. To see the level of strength or intensity of a belief too is vital as to how much “grip” it has on a person, so as to figure out how difficult or easy it is for him to neutralize.

You must have experienced in your day to day life that events very often take place, particularly in our own circle, the way we perceive them in advance. If you believe that people around will treat you gently, they will. If you believe the world is too cruel to be kind towards you that will exactly be your experience.

If you believe your poor economic conditions will linger on for all times to come, they will hardly change. If you believe all days are not alike and the things will certainly change sooner or later, better time will knock at your door.

Let’s now try to dig out where your beliefs come from.

And we do not need to go too far. Much of the guidance or rather in full can be extracted from philosophers’, mystics’ and sages’ works. Let me simply offer you a few principles here extracted from such people’s thought-provoking, enlightening works.

On the top are early life experiences, those with parents, teachers and other commanding figures. It’s from them that we learn and develop who we are; how should we look at the things around; how do we relate to the rest of the world.

Secondly, beliefs developed in early life beget results and your experiences of life. No matter whether certain happening is compatible with your belief or not, you tend to find a way to balance that happening with your belief system.

Some emotional experiences not in alignment with what you want generate beliefs that are negative and hence can infuriate you making your mind focus on what should not happen. Instead, a positive approach on what your mind should focus is ‘what should happen and how’.

To acquire what you want, you are advised to concentrate on only what you want. In addition, you must have the belief that informs your mind to produce the results that are in harmony with that positive thinking.

Vigilant people weigh up their beliefs on the grounds whether they are helpful to the life they are wishing to create, rather than assessing their beliefs based on whether they are true or false.

A more useful strategy to substitute negative thinking is to carefully watch your believes and actions resulting from them. This practice will gradually result in sweeping away all your disempowering believes.

If you manage to stick to the above-mentioned practice, it will empower to pick up more resourceful belief that will endow you with a favorable atmosphere that agrees with your most wanted outcomes.

The foremost step suggested in substituting unconscious and non supportive belief is to actually discover what originally lies there in your beliefs.

Now the most sensible approach to dig out your core believes is to study and scan the results your actions are bearing. You may lie. Your results never do. Well, if you find you don’t like your results, examine the beliefs around those results.

Continuing with the same beliefs will merely be continuing to get the same results.  “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them,” goes a famous statement once made by Einstein.

So the message is: Recreate your beliefs if you want to see the things happening differently onward.

Start and move from simple to complex. Do it bit by bit. Pick up first something small; one small part of your life you are unhappy with. Apply these tips. See the results, then move on to something a bit bigger. Good luck!

Source: humayunmujahid.com

Attraction towards the opposite sex is a natural phenomenon. A deep desire lurks into one’s heart to be famous among the faction of the opposite sex. Every one tries to his level best in order to grab the attraction of his or her opposite gender but few are succeeded. It is only because of the chemistry of their personality and a personality is not merely fixed to the persona of a person but it is the combination of the different characteristics of the pursuer. Different people use different techniques to accomplish their pursuits but here I m going to discuss certain traits and techniques to convince your target that you are the one he or she is looking for.

Appearance:

 
    First of all appearance plays a vital role in the acceptance or the rejection of any personality. It is the presentation which makes any one acceptable at first glance. So it is very necessary to be well-dressed. Being well-dressed does not mean that one must wear expensive clothes but the colour should suit according to the personality as well as the occasion. It should be well stitched, neat and clean. The selection of the stuff and the colour shows one’s aesthetic sense and taste.

Self Confidence:

    Self confidence is a blessing. One should not be shaky while talking to others. Confidence is something which impresses men and women commonly. One should be clear, bold and daring while expressing his or her ideas. Men are amused by the confidence of their lady and most of the women feel secure while being with a confident man. But one should beware of being overconfident.

 Eye Contact:

 
    In your date, meeting or casual conversation you should not loose your eye contact with the addressee. Eye contact plays a vital role while confronting a stranger. Question arises why eye contact is so important. First he or she is kept under a close observation and secondly he or she feels that she is the sole attraction of you.
Keeping an eye contact has another positive aspect that the attention is not diverted. It feels awkward if in a date your attraction is grabbed towards the passer by.

Be Calm & Cool:

    During a meeting or a date with the opposite gender one should keep himself or herself calm and cool. Do not show excitement or behavioral maladjustment because it arouses consciousness in others. If you do not know something, do not feel shy or try to comment without proper knowledge.    

Be A Good Listener:

    One should be a good listener in order to be in the good book of others, especially in case of women. Ask about her interests, family, job or hobby. Discuss music, films, politics and poetry. Show your interest and appreciate his or her views.  

Be Fair But not Blunt:

    While during conversation with women, men should remain fair but not blunt. Do fairly deviate the opposite views but try not to be blunt in criticizing her.

Fair Appreciation plays a Vital Role:

    According to Dale Carnegie fair appreciation amuse others more, rather than flattery. It is also said that men are trapped through eyes while women through ears so it is necessary for men to be a good admirer of dress, beauty and presentation of his female colleagues, friends or beloved.

Good Memory is half a Genious:

    Calling people with their names is also a technique to create a corner their hearts. Repeating his or her name in conversation shows his or her importance to you.

Touch of Humour in Conversations:

    One should be witty with good sense of humour in conversation. A touch of humour makes your conversation amusing for the listener. The remarks should be witty rather than satirical.

Body Language:

    Body Language, hands, movement and gestures play a significant role while convincing others. In a meeting with a male or female one should keep his or her body relax. Do not feel stretch in your mind so that your body language should not clash with your natural stance. Conflict in mind and stretch in body creates disturbance for the viewer.

Things to Avoid:

    Above are certain steps one should adopt. Now there are certain things which should be avoided while dealing with the opposite sex.
1. Do not discuss his or her past relationships.
2. One should not speak bad about others rather than speak positive.
3. Avoid to discuss something your fellow doesn’t really interest in it.

It’s believed by visionary and strong souls that if you aim for moon you will at least end up amongst the stars. If you do not cherish any aim you will come to sheer nothing. To make things worse, if you seek to justify your failure, then you are literally digging your grave with your own hands. It goes beyond describing through words how unavoidably important it is to have some aim or serious cause in life to live it energetically and wonderfully. How very fittingly someone pointed to this fact by quoting the example of a bird:
“A man without aim is like a broken winged bird.”

We often set some goal or the other, and then get knocked up with just a single failure at the very outset, considering our aim either a wrong decision in the first place or by thinking our target is something beyond our powers or access. A shy fellow who did not try to address a gathering despite many opportunities would only ever crawl like a child who did not try to walk, and would ultimately come to believe that he had no talents to address or convince others. He may also blame the world around seeking to justify his failure proclaiming: ‘there was something wrong with them.’ Although they would think that the man had something mentally wrong, it would in reality be his mind which had stopped him from succeeding.
Isn’t it amazing how many of us don’t even try to do something for the fear of failure? We may also call it some sort of mental blockage. The cost we pay as a result is we end up avoiding so many opportunities which might have led us to achieving something so very substantial which one otherwise could only dream of. Now the shock or knock on understanding that we have missed some golden chance would naturally lead us to sullenness and further unconstructiveness.
What leads to deeper ditches is our searching for ‘intelligent’ and ‘convincing’ reasons, read them all ‘lame excuses’ to justify why we failed or why we did not even try. The example of that figurative man could be studied here again who grows to believe that there is something seriously wrong with the world that prevents them from giving him his niche amongst good speakers. It’s the very nature of human mind to think that some outer element has obstructed his way and became the actual cause of failure—merely an easier way to think that failure to aim for the moon was due to unfavorable weather conditions….or to believe that the right tools or the right equipment was not available.
What’s the difference between the person who aims for something and the person who does not aim at all? In reality, it is in how each of the two chooses to think. One aims for the moon; the other does not. One blames the outer elements; the other does not even consider them saying they will remain the same. The one aiming for the moon will get hold of the required tools and will find a way to get there only by deciding to do it. The other not willing to take aim will go on justifying their position, often making the outer elements responsible for his not embarking.
So what blocks your way is not something physical, but rather your mental attitude. With the coming of latest research on the mind body relationship no one can deny that our mind can have severe impact upon our physical well being. All what happens with our body actually flows directly from our mind. Hence, our body is a mirror of our mind. The newest research has provided irrefutable proof of this thing. Our thoughts transmit signals from our brain to our body cells. Putting in a nutshell, we have to pay both mentally and physically to attend to what we think.
The majority however is not aware of this link. What most people believe is their mind is a separate unit. You can imagine well how this misconception leads one to blame outer elements the ‘real’ cause of one’s failure. We feel naturally encouraged by the idea of putting blame on physical things for all sorts of breakdowns we experience.
Summing up, what can really make or mar what you want to do is only and only ‘YOU’. There is simply nothing that can block your way to hit what you aim for unless there is mental blockage inside you. Make predicaments, problems and complications coming your way your learning– considering them most valuable guidelines. Do not forget that the universe is mostly supportive in whatever man pursues in his life. Let me support the subject by another motivational idea that says: “Dreams do come true if they are dreamt intensely enough.”
Call out, and you will be responded; ask, and you will be given.

Source: http://humayunsarticles.blogspot.com

Author: Humayun Mujahid
humayunmujahid@gmail.com

Do you ever feel like you’re trying to squeeze too much into one day? Are there just not enough hours to accomplish all of the things you need to do? Time management can be a tricky skill to learn. Some people seem to have a knack for juggling a wide variety of commitments while still leaving plenty of time for friends, family and hobbies. Others struggle just to finish the bare minimum each day. In order stay on top of your psychology studies, effective time management is essential.
1. Keep Track of Your Daily Activities
Before you develop an effective time management strategy, you first need to record and analyze how you are currently spending you time each day. Keep track of your daily activities for a period of several days. Write down exactly what you are doing at each point of the day and note how long you spend on each activity.

2. Evaluate Your Priorities
Luis AlvesAs a psychology student, you probably already know that understanding the underlying cause of the problem is the first step toward solving it. By taking a serious look at how you spend your time each week, you’ll be able to see areas where you lose significant amounts of time. After keeping track of your schedule for a few days, you might be surprised to see just how much time is wasted each week. A couple hours sifting through junk email, several hours watching television shows that you don’t even like, a few more hours playing games on Facebook – it all adds up quite quickly. By prioritizing how you really want to spend your time, you’ll be far more productive, accomplish more and even have time left over for the hobbies you enjoy.

3. Establish a Schedule
The next step is to set a daily and weekly schedule. Start by writing down the basic things that you must accomplish every day such as going to work or attending classes. After those items have been accounted for in your schedule, start filling in the rest of the week with the other things you would like to do.

You might opt to spend a specific amount of time each day completing assignments and studying, or you might instead set aside certain days for different tasks. For example, you might complete assigned readings on Mondays, study your notes on Tuesday, complete homework on Wednesday and Thursday and leave Fridays open for various things that you would like to focus on a bit more.
4. Get Organized
Now that you have a schedule in place, it is time to get organized and stop wasting time looking for the psychology textbooks, notes and other information you need. First, organize your study area. Make sure you have all of the supplies you need.

5. Set Aside Time for Rest and Relaxation
You know what they say about all work and no play. Be sure to add a little time for leisure activities each week. Save your rest and relaxation for the end of the week to give yourself something to look forward to as you complete tasks that are not quite so enjoyable. Waiting until the end of the week also ensures that you won’t have any deadlines or other worries looming over your head and interfering with your leisure time.

As a busy psychology student, finding time for everything can be tough. By implementing some good time management techniques, you’ll be able to finish all of your obligations and still have plenty of time for friends, family and fun.

 By: Ali Jafar Bukhari

Since we the essences are collective, for us practically daily, one way or another, it is necessary to associate with other people – pleasant and unpleasant, by familiar and unknown, important and not very… Any such contact is given to someone very easily, and someone it forces to experience discomfort, constraint and awkwardness. To be shy and modest – good this or is bad? Let us try at this to be dismantled.

What is modesty:

Shyness and modesty two absolutely different things. Modesty, in contrast to the shyness, valued in always in the entire world.

“The clever the men, the modest it is”, says antique aphorism. In the Japanese proverb it is said: “Modesty – the adornment of wisdom”. “Modesty is so necessary to merits, as to figures on the picture is necessary the background: it gives to them force and relief”, wrote Labryuyer, and Tolstoy considered modesty and simplicity the main conditions of the moral beauty of man.

In contrast to the shyness, modesty by no means interferes with success. Modesty – these are the result of training, the result of the internal work of the man on itself itself, it is controlled to man. Modest that, to whom is unknown the sin of vanity.

What is the shyness:

Shyness – this is such mental special feature of personality, which is manifested in the form discomfort and interfere with man in the interpersonal relations. Shyness can be attributed to the complexes. This is a constant fear of man to make anything not that, to appear foolishly in the eyes of other people. Shy person is inclined to constantly subject all his words and behavior to doubt. For the shy person it is better not to make anything how to make this is bad.

The researchers of personality are convinced that the shyness is transferred by the inheritance, exactly as mental abilities or the growth of man.

Man’s relation to the shyness:

One or other quality or another can be considered deficiency, if it prevents man from living. However, some people, being with constrained and modest, wonderfully perceive themselves in the society and is not considered this trait of nature for the deficiency.

It is considered that, as it will receive its shyness of men, completely depends on its parents. If they related to their child as to the personality and received his shyness as the trait of nature, and not as deficiency, and also, therefore, child will be always confident in himself and he will be able to associate with other people, without experiencing in this case discomfort. But if the parents of the shyness of child gave too much attention, then it compulsorily will begin to doubt itself and its qualities. To receive shyness as the trait of nature and to feel, what this is deficiency – two large differences. When parents think that shyness – deficiency, the child considers himself defective.
If shyness and shyness do not give normally to associate, they prevent the adjusting of relations with the associates or with the opposite sex, interfere with career increase and reach sufferings, which means, necessary to act and to search for the methods to get rid of this.

Methods to overcome shyness:

1. For the beginning simply accept itself as such, such as you exists. Do not attempt to at any cost leave pleasant impression about itself – by your efforts you can complete many more errors, than in your usual state.

2. Leave the unsuccessful experience of contact in the past. Possibly, once with someone you did not find common language, but indeed this in no way means that a similar case will prevent you from fixing new relations.

Andrey k. said,“I consider itself very shy person. Now and then I fear even to itself bundle cigarette to purchase or money to change. To me is required much time, in order to dare to address to the man. When I am troubled, I bear complete delirium. I hate this feeling, especially when any beautiful girl looks at me. In me the feet become wadded, although greatly I want to approach it. Sometimes this shyness – on the face of weakness. I do not know that to me to make”.

3. More greatly be trained. Free and to lung to contact it is possible to learn. You never will learn to drive on the bicycle, if you will not be trained. In the contact with the people the same. Force itself to associate as much as possible. This will give the necessary experience to you and it will give confidence in its own forces.

4. Use a strange experience. Take an example. Focus attention, as behave and associate your familiar, friends, associate. Memorize successful words, gestures, mimicry, intonations of voice.

5. You enter in the role. Represent that you – are not you. But certain confident, possibly. even a somewhat rather insolent person. Enter into this role, fit to itself this means, and you immediately will feel, as your voice it [zazvuchit] more confident and energetically.

6. You be assured in the fact that you speak. Or you speak only that, in what you are assured. This confidence will give courages, forces and hardnesses to you.

7. Clearly realize the purpose of your contact: what it for you means and that it to you will give. For example, if you want to be introduced to the girl, try to think not about how you will now appear in her eyes, but about those excellent moments, which this girl will be able to present to you, if acquaintance takes place. Or, conducting negotiations, you always hold in the head thought, that on that how you will now bring yourselves, will depend the material prosperity of company or you themselves.

8. Think not about itself. Contact is given much more easily, if the prosperity of your close ones stands after this. For example, mother with the ease will overcome her shyness, if life and health of her child will depend on this.

9. You will include imagination. Present collocutor… by naked or in the toilet. This will cause smile and will allow you to be weakened.

10. More greatly smile. You be merry and affable. A good mood and the open smile still never repulsed people.

11. To overcome alcohol shyness helps. But it is here compulsory necessarily to consider place, time and dose. For example, in the company of friends the small dose of alcohol will not injure, but on the work this method is hardly acceptable.

12. You remember that you have its rights:

* right to the uniqueness. For this it compare never itself with others. You – are unique. Each person is unique.
* right to ignorance. Very frequently the shy person fears to acknowledge to collocutor that he does not know something. Never fear honest to acknowledge: “I this do not know”. Or: “Unfortunately, this name to me is unknown”.
* right to not understand something. To you it is not completely compulsory to understand all that, about which your collocutor speaks. And you can about this directly say to it.
* the right to change its opinion. If at the beginning of conversation you thought then, and at the end already otherwise, in this absolutely there is nothing terrible. And reproach in the inconsistency must not confuse you.
* the right to refuse. Frequently the shy person fears to refuse to someone to other in the request, even if greatly he does not want it to carry out. You remember that if you reject to carry out whose- that request, you do not become poor. To all it is not possible to please.
* right to the error. Never scold itself for your oversights and failure. It does not make mistakes it only the one who nothing makes. You remember, no one is insured against the blunders, the errors and the incomprehension. This occurs with each. Try simply to analyze the emergent situation with “cold heart”. And do not be recycled on the errors, better draw for itself conclusions.
* right to not be justified. Shy person very frequently is justified. To make this completely not compulsorily since precisely this feature most frequently and issues the people uncertain of itself.
* the right to please not all. You are not completely obligated to all to please. Each has its tastes and views. You not are worse, you simply another.

                       Everyone does want to learn about himself or herself or his friend’s the most hidden things? Attentively look to your or his handwriting. It is jealous or it is amorous, soft or, on the contrary, sharp. Analysis of handwriting (in other words – graphology) – the outstanding method to compose precise psychological portrait. Moreover on the handwriting it is possible much to say also about the sexuality of man.

In order to learn the nature of man, it is necessary to conduct text analysis, written to them by hand, the desirably clean and not lined sheet of paper. Volume – not less than 10-15 is necessary to assess someone.The analysis of handwriting can be from the study of general signs, and then already passed to the special features of writing separate letters.

Conduct through the middle of several letters vertical axis and look, what angle it composes with the line. If angle on the order of 45 degrees, it means one openly expresses ones feelings,one will easily get along with the people,one pleases to walk among guests or to invite friends and finally if one makes fall in love, then he or she does not hide his or her feelings.

If the handwriting is vertical, there is inclination neither to the left nor to the right,the writer possesses the equilibrium of mind and heart, restrained by the manner of behavior. When he makes fall in love, then never immediately openly he expresses his feelings, they are manifested only in the benevolence.

Sometimes letters are inclined to the left. This means that in the writer the mind controls feelings. He is capable to the love only after long reflections and meditations. Very often, the inclination of handwriting changes with the age and the letters are more greatly inclined to the right.

Then there is handwriting in which the letters are strongly inclined to the right. If this is so then in the writer the desire is to advance its feelings for show, he or her makes fall in love at first glance. Moreover he has a tendency towards  jealousy and his own beginning. Flattery and admiration of those surrounding please him.

Furthermore it is worthwhile to look at the pressure. If one writes with the light pressure, then he prefers more to listen to how to speak, he loves small companies, interested in other people but does not show this. His nature of devotion is strong.

If the writer puts strong pressure, on the contrary, in his handwriting is perceived, letters have darker and thicker outlines, then he has decisive nature, there is much energy in him to attract large companies and active people. In the heart matters the ardency of feelings distinguishes him or her.

In graphology the method of connecting letters has much importance. If almost in each word between the letters, there is a break, the writer more frequently relies on his intuition than to the logical analysis. If all letters are connected then he is of a logical mind. There is a skill to convince people in him and has a good power of observation. He assumes nothing upon the faith.

There is a great significance of size of the letters in graphology.

If the handwriting is of normal size in which the height of letters is equal to their width and composes about 4 mm. It means that the writer is of balanced nature and if the letters are of more than 4 mm size, the handwriting is large. It means that the writer wants to focus attention on himself,  a sense of self-respect is developed in him,there is a tendency in him towards impracticality.

Small handwriting indicates the restraint, the composure and the economical state of mind of the writer. The compressed handwriting (when the height of letters is more than width) reveals thrift, sometimes stinginess, circumspection. The elongated handwriting (width of letters of more than height) speaks about the ability easily to be oriented in the unknown situation, the enterprise and about the rapidity of perception.

Difference in the handwriting depends not only on the sizes of letters, but also on the style of their writing. Rounded letters indicate the tendency toward the collaboration, the skill to coordinate their views from the point of view of others and the ability to divide happiness and the anxieties.

Angular handwriting testifies about the tendency toward the independence, the desire to achieve its own plans. If angular letters are written also with the pressure, means the writer does not love to be in the subordinate position both in the business and in the personal relations.

Besides the general characteristics of handwriting it is necessary to focus attention on writing of separate letters;for example, on the outlines of the capital letter “[k]” it is possible to obtain idea about the femininity. If it is written without the pressure, it is slightly elongated, inclined to the right, has long upper branch and small lower, the writer is original in the desires, graceful, completed refinement and elegance.

If with writing the letter “[k]” is used pressure, and the branch of letter departs downward,represents the hardness of nature, resoluteness, sense and such people dislike to voice their thoughts.

In writing of letter “M” is manifested the justifiability of man and his craftsmanship. The discussion deals with the successes in the business, the studies, the sport, the sex. The relationship of the height of the elements of letter is important for the development of nature. If above first, one possesses resoluteness and receptivity. He can disturb more the immediate achievements, than future successes. Everything arranges in him with the plan of sex and such people do not hurry to change anything in their habits.

If the first element is lower than second, the writer is feminine and graceful.Such people love to produce impression. Therefore they are inclined to the changes both in the professional sphere and in the sphere of the sex, where they  willingly, could proceed with a change in the customary behavior.

If in the majority “[o]” there is a break in the left upper side, this means that the writer feels himself confident only in the customary situations. he feels nervous in new situatios and he continuously feels ill about his failures in the past.

So one can discover the true nature of his or her friend, someone knowing or anyone whose handwriting comes before him. Graphology is a great knowledge to understand anyone.